Boundaries

Boundaries

For a majority of my life, I have suffered from extreme anxiety and depression. Even though I have been blessed with a wonderful life and family, I struggle to enjoy the little things in life. Despite my best efforts to avoid it, my anxiety has edged its way into my relationship with my boyfriend. Although we are very honest and open with each other, I don’t know how to express my fear of intimacy. I have always been someone who doesn’t trust easily, and I love my boyfriend more than I can say. However, I am terrified that if I tell him the truth. I fear he won’t love me anymore. I don’t know what to do.

CONSIDER THIS:

  • Not being able to trust people can make you feel limited with your choices in life. You are brave for making a real effort to let people into your life despite your anxiety.
  • Learn to establish appropriate boundaries by clearly showing how you feel. Most people aren’t as bad as they seem, they just have serious issues themselves that come out at the worst times.
  • Becoming more responsible may also help you establish appropriate boundaries by giving you more control over yourself and how people treat you because they see that you can be trusted and can’t be pushed around. A part-time job is a good responsibility.
  • You are right to be careful but if you overdo it you’ll never experience life the way you deserve to. Learn to make wiser choices and know that you are in control of your own mind and body. This is your right as a human being.
  • Someone who loves you will do so no matter what even though you have issues. You’ll never know how your boyfriend feels about them unless you try. If he doesn’t love you enough, you have the option of finding someone who does.
  • You can think about talking to a trusted therapist about why you have trust issues so you can learn to trust the right people. This person may also help cure your anxiety and depression.
  • If you head to the Teen Central website, you can click on the Learn tab then Anxiety and Depression to learn more about your issues. Knowledge is power.
  • To learn how to express yourself better you can try artistic activities like drawing, painting or learning a musical instrument. Art is known to help people express their feelings in a positive, healthy way.
  • You can also try expressing your feelings by writing or drawing in a journal.
  • You can try becoming more spiritual. Believing in a higher power may help you decide what to do and make you feel safer. On the Teen Central website click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more. Some spiritual activities include prayer, meditation, yoga and attending church services.

HELP YOURSELF:

  • What other responsibilities can you take on?
  • Can you think of how your boyfriend will feel about your news if you tell him and how you may respond in a positive manner without letting it negatively affect you?
  • How can you make sure you commit to establishing healthy boundaries with people?
  • Can you find a responsible adult who can help you learn to establish the right boundaries?