Bully Best friend – Who is the villain?
Maybe around a month ago, one of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend. He and I have always been friends, but we started talking to each other a lot more. I began to develop feelings for him, as did he. We started hanging out a ton after school, going to the library and reading funny books, going to our school’s basketball games, walking through our local park, and getting hot chocolate. However, last week my best friend saw us together at a basketball game. We weren’t on top of each other, but we were sitting next to each other taking pictures. He then asked me “wanna trade shoes?” because that’s our stupid thing, trading shoes. His ex saw us and began to talk about me. She was telling my other friend, we’ll call her V, how disrespectful I was. Personally, I didn’t see anything wrong. This was because she would call me telling me what an annoying person he was and wanted to break up with him. I thought that being friends with him would be fine because of this. So, the next day he got sick. He told everyone in his friend group, which included his ex (we’ll call her S for the sake of typing). She responded by calling me a harsh name and when my friend, V, asked what she meant she replied with ‘she’s a hoe, he’s sick, I see the connection’. This really upset me, because I don’t date a lot of boys. I’ve had maybe 3 “serious” relationships in my life. Anyways, as the days passed she continued being nice to me in person, but eventually left my lunch table. That day, she told everyone I was a hoe and had STD’s. She told my crush that I didn’t like him, and that I was a slut, and that I was using him because I was a slut. My crush sent me the screenshots and I saved them, just in case things escalated. Moving on, she continued telling every single one of my friends that I talked about them and that I spread rumors about them. She turned my closest friend, B, away from me and brought her to her side. Today, I was walking with my crush when she texted him. She made a group chat with two high schoolers, herself, and my crush. She was going on and on about how I hated him and that he shouldn’t fall into my trap. Immediately I started to cry because I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t understand how she could so loosely throw around the word “hoe”. I don’t understand how she could so quickly hate me. He and I aren’t even dating and don’t intend on dating until we get to know each other better.
– Confused Teen
- Being treated badly can make you feel attacked and hurt. You have a lot of courage to tell your story and reach out for help.
- You can go to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Bullying to learn more. Knowledge is power. If you need someone to talk to, you can click the Help tab then call one of the hotlines. You may also tell a trusted adult about the problem including a parent, family member, religious leader or school staff.
- Instead of letting other girls bring you down, you can let them make you a stronger person. Be the better person and you’ll feel better about yourself in an unselfish way.
- You can continue to improve yourself by volunteering for a worthy cause. Be a mentor, take care of animals at a shelter, read books to children or plant trees to help the environment, among many others. Fostering or adopting a pet from a pet shelter is a great way to save an innocent animal.
- Being creative is a healthy way to express pent up emotion and can help a person get away from a cruel reality. You can do drawing, painting, sculpting or playing a musical instrument, among others.
- You can try being more spiritual by praying, meditating, doing yoga or attending church services. On the Teen Central website, click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more.
- In what ways might your life be better if you find friends who value you as a person?
- In what ways can living by high ethical standards help you live an honest life where you genuinely respect yourself and others? How would this help others respect you more?
- Is there anything you can learn from enduring this cruelty?
- How can you make sure to stay away from the pettiness of others in the future?