Confusion

Confusion

Hello. I am 19 years old and I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety for a while now. I believe that my relationship is not going very well with my mom.  Also, the relationship is over between me and my boyfriend of a few months because of a language tutor, and I feel very sad about this.

CONSIDER THIS:

  • It sounds like you’re going through a very difficult and confusing time. Rest assured other teens can, on some level, relate to your situation.
  • All relationships, in order to be successful, need to maintain an open line of communication. This is true of your relationship with your mom and your ex boyfriend.
  • Your mom loves you and you love her, but right now, things are not too great between the two of you.  Talking to her about how you feel may be the best way to improve your relationship.  Consider writing down a list of the circumstances that you believe are straining your relationship and think about what you or your mom could do to make things better.  Then, you may want to write down what you might want to say to her if you had a chance.  When you are ready, let her know that you are worried about your relationship and that you care about her but want to sit and talk to her about how you are feeling.  Make sure you ask when a good time to have the discussion would be.
  • Breaking up with someone you care about can be painful and confusing.  Sometimes it can be hard to admit that it is over and even harder to move on.  Consider reaching out to friends and family members for support.  Talking to someone can help you get through the sadness that comes with the end of a relationship.  Also, some people find that writing down their thoughts makes them feel better.
  • You may also want to keep yourself busy.  Consider learning a new skill, listening to music or exercising.  Also think about trying something new that would allow you to meet different people. Some people find that volunteering or taking a class is a good way to meet new people.  Remember that time and distance can help with your sadness.  Try to be patient and reach out to your mom.

HELP YOURSELF:

  • If you wrote down three items that you think are the source of the tension with your mom and what you can do about it, what would be on that list?
  • What do you think your mom would say if you came to her and asked to speak to her about your relationship?
  • Who are some people who you can talk to about your anxiety and sadness?
  • What are some of your favorite activities?
  • How would you advise a friend that came to you with these situations?