Crushing On A New Friend
I am not doing so well in college so i started getting help from a senior. After my exams ended I invited the senior to a concert/ festival with my group of friends and he came with his friend. I hung out with both of them a lot there and we had fun. After the event he started inviting me to coffee so we can gossip (though he didnt imply if its as friends or a date). I kept on delaying it. We started texting a lot and he kept telling me about his achievements and sharing his sketches etc with me. We would pass by in college and have the occasional conversation as well. For the past month he and I have been talking almost every day. In the past 5 days we have talked on call on three different occasions. Two of those calls were almost 3 hour long and went on until 4 am. A week ago I went out for coffee with him as well as friends and I thought we had a very nice time. He has a female best friend who confessed her feelings to him but he turned her down as he didnt feel the same way. She is extremely possesive about him and fights with him when he befriends other girls. In the last few days I have started feeling his interest in me deteriorate. He takes longer to text me back and he sends one word replies. He just doesn’t seem that interested. I have become the first person to initiate contact. Two days ago I felt like he was ignoring me as he replied to my text after 5 hours. Then later when I texted him at night after a couple of texts he called me and we talked till 4 am. We had an amazing conversation in which both of us laughed a lot and discussed music and it was a lot of fun. He even told me after I dragged the info out of him that his bestfriend got pissed at him as she had seen us sitting together and talking in college. She told him to choose between the both of us. He told her its either both of you or none of you. Then he told me that if he didn’t talk to me he would start talking to some other girl so his best friend would have issues anyway. Hence showing that I am not that important to him. We never flirt with each other its always friendly talk or we insult each other. Yesterday we saw each other in college and didn’t interact. Once when we had eye contact he mouthed an inner joke and I mouthed the reply but he was surrounded by his female friends so I didn’t go up to him and he didn’t come to me either. Later that night I texted him and he sent one word replies so I didnt respond after he sent an “ok”. For the past couple days it seems as if I am the person who wants to talk and initaites contact. If we interact in college and have a conversation we don’t talk on text when we get home. I am crushing on him and keep seeing his last seen and it pisses me off when he is online but doesnt text me. Two days ago he agreed to help me with a test on call but now I don’t know if I should remind him of that since I don’t want him to consider me in the list of girls after him. I am confused and irritated. What should I do?
- Your confusion is understandable. Sometimes figuring out people’s feelings can be challenging. Remember that time has a way of working things like this out. Sometimes patience is the only answer.
- Maybe being honest with him and telling him your feelings is a good step. Whether he feels the same way or not at least you will have an answer. If he is interested, then you can move forward and if not then you can move on and remain friends and tutoring buddies.
- Be careful that he is not giving mixed signals for his own ego by seeming as if he may be romantically interested in many girls. This is a way to make himself feel better.
- Maybe consider finding another tutor and eliminating the issue altogether if this continues to bother you.
- How might confronting him with your feelings change your tutoring environment?
- What other plan can you come up with to help you with school that may not involve him?
- Can you confide in a girl friend that may have had a similar experience?