Heart Against the Mind 

Heart Against the Mind 

My best friend of 16 years ruined my first and only relationship because she was jealous even though she has a boyfriend. And she won’t admit it or apologize. But I know it was her fault.  I’m 20 years old. My friend and I have been inseparable since we were four. I literally feel like she’s dead to me, but in a sad way not really an angry way. I miss her so much because we can’t be friends. I miss everything I thought we were going to do together. Her laugh and her smile. I miss hugging her and just being with her. I’m thinking about all the things we’ve done together. She’s in most of my memories. People used to think we were siblings or we were together romantically. But, I know I can’t ever trust her again. She hasn’t even admitted to it; she’s even tried to blame me. I feel so broken. Like a part of me is gone and I don’t know how to live without it. Without her. We talked every day. She knew everything about me and I knew everything about her. We loved each other at different times and now it’s just gone.


  • Being betrayed by a friend can make you feel sad and discouraged. You are genuine for questioning the situation and loving your friend selflessly.
  • Sometimes we misjudge those closest to us. For your own emotional security and safety ask yourself if she ever really cared about you enough.
  • If you feel that your friend doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated it may be best to let her go and find a real friend who will.
  • Everyone gets jealous to some extent but it should not get to the point where someone ruins your relationships. Think about how her jealousy could cause you additional problems. Is she a real friend or does she have a serious issue?
  • Trust is one of the main components of any relationship. If you can’t trust her think about how this could affect your own well-being. You deserve a real friend who will be your equal.
  • If she won’t even admit she’s wrong she may never do so. Consider how this may continue to hurt your feelings and possibly your future. Have common sense and think about how her mean behavior could eventually harm your mental state and even your future.
  • If she continues to treat you badly, she’s just bullying you. No one deserves this treatment. If this happens stop being her friend and know that she never really deserved you. On the Teen Central website you can click the Learn tab then Bullying to educate yourself on this cruel behavior.
  • If you continue to be her friend be observant, aware and careful because she may be pettier than you think. This could even lead to manipulation.
  • On the Teen Central website you can click on the Help tab if you need someone to talk to about your friend’s bad feelings toward you.
  • Be yourself and if you need it a better friend will come along.


  • Can you think of any past behavior you might have missed or ignored which would cause distrust?
  • Is it possible that you misjudged her jealousy?
  • Would a real friend feel such intense jealousy?
  • Can you think of and/or write down the positive qualities a real friend should possess?
  • In what ways would it be a waste of time to have a mean friend and how can you find a better one?
  • How could a better friend significantly improve your life?
  • Even though your friend has a boyfriend herself, is it possible she wants to steal your boyfriend for herself and dump her old one?