I don’t know what to do about my girlfriend.

I don’t know what to do about my girlfriend.

I don’t know what to do about my girlfriend.

I’m trying to read my girlfriend’s true feelings and I wish I knew how to figure this one out. I figured out every other challenge in my life (well to some extent at least), and they seemed a lot harder. But why does this one seems so easy, yet I can’t figure it out? I’m talking about my girlfriend. We’ve been going out for about a month. She’s always telling me she loves me more than life and I saved her life so much. All that is true. But she doesn’t act like she loves me. I mean, I’m always depressed. Ever since I was one year old, I’ve been depressed but being around her makes me so happy, the happiest I’ve been in years. I love her more than anything in this world. I changed the whole way I live life for her. I used to always get in fights. I used to drink and do drugs and stuff like that. But I quit all that just for her. And lately, it seems like she usually doesn’t want me around. She always says she wants me around, but I always get this feeling like she’s saying inside, “Why can’t you just go away.” We both know everything that’s wrong with each other whenever it happens and right now I’m stumped. There’s something really wrong. I get mixed feelings all the time around her. She has never cried in all three years I’ve known her. But yesterday, stuff just built up to the point she started to cry. It’s all just confusing. She’s also flirting with other guys and ignoring me until I’m around. Then she doesn’t. Whenever I’m way depressed and to the point of suicide, I get the feeling she doesn’t care. Maybe it’s just me and I’m too paranoid about the relationship. All her friends say she loves me more than anything in the world and she is constantly missing me when I’m not around. I feel the same way. But how come she has to come off with the feeling of, I could care less about you. Why? What can I do to talk to her about it? I just need help. If this doesn’t make any sense, I’m sorry. I was just typing what came off my mind and my mind is racing over this.

CONSIDER THIS:

  • Relationships can be tough to figure out.  You are really happy when you are with your girlfriend and you feel that she has brought out the best in you.  However, you are worried that she actually does not care about you as much as she says and that she is not as committed to the relationship as you are.  You want to clear things up but you don’t know how to talk to her about it.
  • Dating someone can be confusing and emotionally draining sometimes.  It sounds as if you really enjoy being around your girlfriend and that she has made your life better.  You are stressing about what her true feeling are, so you should consider talking to her about it, rather than her friends.  Before you talk to her, you might want to make a list of what you love about the relationship but also what your concerns are.  Also, consider making a list of what you want to know to ease your concerns.   This will help you decide what to say to your girlfriend.
  • Sometimes it is good to write down what you are thinking about saying before you say it.  Consider making a list of what you think you should say to your girlfriend.  You may want to first let her know how you feel about her and how much the relationship means to you.  Afterward you could let her know that you want her to be happy too and that you wanted to make sure that she was okay with how things are going.
  • Consider letting her know that you don’t want her in a relationship with you if things are not going the way she wants.  Also, consider how you might respond if she says she is happy with the relationship and also how you might respond if she says she has some issues.  Sometimes working things out is the best course of action, but other times, taking time out for space is the best option.

HELP YOURSELF:

  • What do you need in order to feel better about this relationship? Of those things you need, how much of it is under your control?
  • If your girlfriend were in front of you right now, how could you ask her about her feelings about your relationship?
  • If one of your friends came to you with the same problem, what would you advise them to do or say?