Last December I was raped. He recorded most of it. I talked to him and I asked him why? He told me I was bugging out. Now I find out he is on trial for raping a 16 year old. He is 21 years old and I am 24 years old. I did not go to the police when it happened to me because he scared me. He can get very violent. Now I do not know what happened with her case but she had the strength to tell. I feel worse every day. I keep reliving that moment. The flashbacks are destroying me. I have been raped and assaulted many times before. I am a victim and statistically I have a higher chance of it happening again and again. I have been drugged before and almost kidnapped once. I relapsed and cut for the first time in almost a year. My rapist told me he honestly thinks the world would be better off without me. I used to come to this site a lot back when I was in high school and it really helped me then. Please help me now. I am an adult who was not prepared at all for any of this and I feel like I am a total failure. I cannot even defend myself.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Being a victim of abuse is difficult to cope with. Your feelings are relatable and completely understandable. You are brave for sharing your story and strong for seeking help.
- Learning that he has a pending trial may have caused you a rush of emotions. Weigh out your options and consider filing a police report because what happened to you is never okay.
- It is important to remember there are resources out there that can help you cope. You can seek a therapist for one on one help or you can join a support group.
- Check out the Learn tab on TeenCentral.com to find more information on substance abuse.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Are you willing report the rape to the police? What good can come from reporting the crime? Would you feel safe?
- Why do keep in contact with your attacker?
- Who can you confide in about your personal issues?
