Example: Making jokes about you or picking on you for something that you have done.
Toxic Friendships
Have you ever felt as though you put a lot into your friendship and the person that is on the receiving end does not do the same? You could have a TOXIC FRIENDSHIP. Toxic friendships can be hard to identify at times as it is very difficult to try to investigate what we don’t like in a friendship. Once, you are able to do this however sometimes you can see a friend for what they truly are which could be toxic.
Some examples of toxic friendships can be someone who:
Manipulates you to do the things that they want you to do
Example: Manipulates you to lie or steal something that they want as well.
Someone who takes advantage of you when you need support
Example: Someone who takes advantage of you when you are mad, such as encouraging you to fight a peer when you are more likely to do so because you are angry about something else, when REALLY your “friend” just wants to see that other peer get beat up.
Someone that you can’t trust
Example: Someone who tells your secrets to others.
Lack of Boundaries
Example: Someone who makes you feel uncomfortable by touching you or being in your personal space.
Someone is disrespectful to you
Example: Someone that makes jokes about the way that you look, your culture, or ethnicity.
Jealous of you having other friends
Example: A friend that can be your only friend, and will often keep others away if they get to close.
Spreading Rumors
Example: Often will spread rumors about you. Also, could be someone that likes to do this about other people. However, they also do this about you.
Lack of support
Example: Someone who will not be supportive of positive decisions like studying, or doing something extra at school.
Unable to have a healthy conflict
Example: When in conflict this person may often get aggressive, or assertive with you. They can also completely disregard the conversation or walk away.
How do we end a Toxic Friendship Though?
If you find yourself in a toxic friendship and feel as though it is no longer healthy for you, there are a few things that you can do to help yourself such as:
Having a conversation with that person: Letting that person know how you are feeling could do actually the opposite for your friendship. This means that by having this open communication you might be able to save this friendship. By letting this person know how they are making you feel you are showing where your boundaries are which is important in a friendship.
Setting boundaries that are important to you: By letting someone know that you have boundaries and that they are important to you, you are allowing for someone to see that they are crossing them. By letting someone know this you are able to end that relationship by also advocating for yourself.
Having positive supports around you: When ending a toxic relationship, it can be tough to have those conversations. By having other supportive people around you, you may feel stronger in having those tough conversations.
Know that you are important and that the people that you surround yourself with are also important. By having positive and supportive relationships in place we are able to grow into the people that we are to become. By feeling supported and having positive attachments we will continue to express those positive attachments in the relationships that we build. If you want to know if a friend is a positive or toxic relationship friend check out our friendship tool in our tool section. Take the test and see how they do.