This is my Story

This is my Story

This is my Story!  I am a survivor. Some backstory my dad was never in my life he left when he found out my mom was pregnant. I was born premature and was placed on a feeding tube. Which I pulled out. I had to learn to feed and fast. My grandma would try bottle feeding me and I finally ate! My mom and I moved into an apartment when I was about four till I was five. Those were good times. My mom was happy and working. I went to daycare and my grandpa would pick me up and take me to their house until my mom got off work. Things were great! Then my mom and I moved into a big house with a guy named Otis. I didn’t mind him but it was a little weird I never really got to see him before we moved in. He’d always come to the apartment at night when I was sleeping. It was cool though to have a dad like all the other kids. Life was good. I had everything I could’ve ever wanted. When my brother Andrew was born everything changed. My mom got really depressed. She started smoking more and only getting off the couch to smoke. My stepdad was gone most nights bowling and when he was home no one was ever in the same room. I was left to clean and cook. I was also left to raise and take care of my brother when I was only seven. I had to get up in the middle of the night to him crying. If he woke up either of my parents I’d get beat by my mom or grounded by my stepdad. This went on gradually getting worse. When I was in fifth grade my mom got even more physically abusive and I was sick a lot. The stress was causing me to physically get sick. This is when I started cutting. That summer my stepdad started touching me. He told me not to tell because my mom wouldn’t believe me and would get extremely upset. He would constantly send me to my room when he was home. He didn’t want anything to do with me I thought. In sixth grade my grades got really bad and I had to go to summer school. Every day when I came home from school my stepdad would be waiting for me. I knew what he was doing was wrong but I was too afraid to tell anyone. When he would be done he told me how much he loved me and that I better hurry up and get cleaning and cooking before my mom came home. So I did day after day. My only day off was Wednesday nights when I got to go to youth group. That was my escape. My brother was the only reason I didn’t end my life during those times. I had to take care of them. I had to protect him. Beginning of eighth grade year I was at my breaking point and people at school noticed. My stepdad started abusing me even when my mom was home. It started to becoming a three times a day thing. I knew I had to tell someone at this point. I was hurting myself everyday and I know I had to make a change. October 2, 2015 my stepdad was arrested. I moved in with my grandparents. My mom and brother still lived at the house. I finally got the courage to speak up to my counselor. I thought things would get easier but I was so wrong. People at school bullied me even more. The guilt and shame was surreal. October 10, 2015 I was hospitalized due to being suicidal. I was raped while there by a fellow peer. It destroyed me even more. I wanted to die. 42 days later I finally was released. My stepdad was out on bail and I was terrified for my family safety. I barely saw my brother which killed me. Beginning of ninth-grade I overdosed and once again was placed inpatient. I saw no hope. The court process on top of everything else was by far the hardest thing I’ve had to go through. But May 2017 my voice was heard. My voice was listened to. I put my stepdad behind bars May 17, 2017 for 4-8 years. 10th grade I started at a different school. This school saved me and has made me open my eyes. I am something. Life is worth living. I now realize God gave me this hand in life to help others. Speak up for those who haven’t spoken up. Towards the end of the year I cut too deep and ended up needing stitches. I’ve never wanted to live so much in my life. I haven’t cut since. I have so many supports from court, church, and school. I have rough days but I have a purpose that my eyes were blind to before.

CONSIDER THIS:

  • You are very strong for sharing your struggles and being willing to help others!  Thank you for taking the time to share that you have been able to find relief.
  • Your story can show others who are also in a very difficult situation and do not believe there is a way out that things can work out for them.  You must keep going day by day until you find something that works.
  • It took courage to share the abuse with someone.  We hope others learn from your story to share any abusive acts as soon as they happen.  And, if your mother does not believe you, like he tried to scare you to think, you must not stop telling trusted adults.  Tell a school counselor, a teacher, a police officer, anyone who might be able to help you until you are safe and not in the abusive situation anymore.
  • You did not mention if you reported the abuse while you were at a hospital.  If you did not, I would encourage you to report the abuse.  This may help to prevent others from abuse in the future.
  • It sounds like the change in schools was something that was very important to your healing.  That is awesome!  It is important to surround yourself by people who are positive and motivating.  Every single positive action is impactful!

HELP YOURSELF:

  • Now that you feel better about your life, what kind of things can you continue to do for your own self care?
  • How has this experience helped you learn about abusive situations?  Do you feel you will be able to avoid abusive relationships in the future?
  • How do keep yourself positive on a daily basis and through your rough days?