We Need to Talk About Sex
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little more than a year but we have not had sex in the past three months. The very few times I have talked to him about it, he just says “I don’t know”. That’s it. A couple of times he said it is because I have been saying I did not want be with him anymore and that he thought that meant I did not want to have sex. I only said I did not want to be with him a few times during fights and I have let him know that it is not a good excuse. The most confusing part of this is that he will not let me break up with him! He even moved in with me two months ago after I tried so hard to not have him move in with me because I thought we should resolve this first. He always tells me he loves me and that he thinks about me all day. He even tells me I am the most important thing to him. We are always together when I am not in class and he is not at work. We have a lot of fun together. We are pretty much great except we are not having sex and he won’t talk about why. I really do not know what it is and what to do.
- Having sex problems with a partner you live with is difficult especially when they are not willing to communicate their feelings. Sex is a topic people often feel hesitant to talk about because it is private and personal.
- It sounds like the relationship is going well besides not having sex for the last three months. Try to work on intimacy by creating an intimate environment. Stay home and watch a movie, listen to love songs and light up some candles, cook him his favorite meal. Remember intimacy is not all about sex.
- Get creative. Make a game to break the ice and start a conversation about sex. Write questions down and put them in jar. Take turns answering questions, you may find out information about your partner that you did not know such as fantasies, past sexual experiences, expectations, likes, dislikes.
- Check out the Learn tab on TeenCentral.com that has information about Relationships.
- Do you feel comfortable discussing sex with your partner?
- What are reasons that he may be hesitant to talk about sex?
- What are your expectations regarding sex when it comes to your relationship?